His arms are stretched out, his hands are reaching for me and then I hear “Don’t leave me Mommy, please don’t leave me Mommy.”
That is what I heard this morning when I left Cameron at pre-school. What a heart breaking moment. I don’t know how long it takes for him to calm down, but those first couple minutes when I leave him are difficult to say the least. I absolutely have LOVED being able to stay home with Cameron. I have enjoyed every single moment of it, but it is extremely difficult on us when we are separated. He has really never been with anyone else, but his grandparents so I am sure you can imagine how traumatic it is for him. I have been making school sound like it is something great and wonderful. He will meet new kids, make new friends, play, color and learn. He is so excited until it is time that Mommy leaves. Surprisingly I did pretty good today. Then he started crying and my heart started breaking. Day 2 of pre-school has been difficult, but I am sure that with time, Cameron will love it and my heart won’t be aching as much.
In the process of waiting for that day to come… I will watch and wait and count down the time to when I can pick him up. Is it time yet?
15 comments:
Aw, Lisa I know your heart is breaking about that. I'm sure there are probably other little ones who are going through the same thing. I would say try and get to know the other Mom's and perhaps schedule some play dates for a few hours after school sometime. In the comfort of their own homes they will probably form friendships a little easier. And they can talk about school together.
Thinking of you!
Linda
It will be alright Momma. We've all been there a time or two. You will both grow stronger from this time apart.
Hugs,
AMY
Hang in there Mom! (Oh, and have a great after school snack waiting... that always helped us along!)
Oh Lisa,
I completely understand what you are going through.
My son (now 20) was exactly the same way when he went.
He would cry and beg me to stay.
Somedays I actually sat out in the hall way for three hours while he attended, just to calm him down.
He would come a peek out just to make sure I was still there.
As a Mother it is heartbreaking.
But I promise you, he will be okay.
He will make friends, have fun, and know Mommy will be there to hear about it when the day is over.
Stay strong Mom!! It is just a transition right now, but before long it will become a habit. And all will be alright.
I will send you out my prayers and positive thoughts because trust me I know how difficult it is for you right now.
Take Care,
Tam
Ask the teacher how long the crying lasts. I've seen kids that it last, um, maybe 30 seconds, and then it's all smiles. (I'm NOT kidding!). If he's crying on and off the entire time, that's a different story. Maybe set up a play date with another child from preschool. You can switch houses so he can get adjusted to being left at other people's houses. I had a 1st grader crying at lunch yesterday because she missed mommy, so it's an adjustment.
Laura
Awwww, bless both your hearts! It really will get better. Tomorrow, why don't you "leave" and hide away somewhere so you can check on him? Then just peak in and see how he's doing (but don't let him see you). I bet he doesn't cry for very long and I think you will feel a lot better knowing that. And then you can tell him that you saw him having a wonderful time with his new friends. Or not, that's up to you.
I know it is heartbreaking, but worth it in the long run. Hang in there!
~Carolyn
Lisa~ I went through the same thing with my son too when he was little and yes it does break your heart, but they adjust with time and so do we:) I always thought the first day of kindergarten was the hardest until 2 months ago I watched him leave for Army basic training, so it never really gets easier, being mom is a hard job ((BIG HUGS)) to you!!
Lisa,
Your brain and your heart are pulling you in different directions. It is a very difficult time. As a former first grade teacher, I remember years of the same scenes. Most kids quit crying when distracted after a minute or two. The worst were the ones who would see Mom peeking in the window! I once had a boy cry so hard he threw up, but yep, his mom was peeking in the classroom window! Keep us posted on his progress. There are already some great ideas here to make adjustment smoother for both of you, and be sure to check with the teacher.
Lisa - I went through the same with my son (now 25). Wow, did it break my heart - cried all the way to work. The teacher said call when you get to work. Took me about 15 minutes to get there - called - he was playing with the kids. He loved it!!
It will be okay, kids adjust quickly. It is only the second day. Soon he will have friends at school and feel safe with the teachers and he will not cry when you leave him. Growing up is hard for all of us.
I will be thinking of you!
~Dan~
My daughter hated preschool the whole time. After 2 weeks of my 2nd son not wanting to be there, I decided why should he? It didn't help my 1st daughter socially adjust to Kindergarten at all, so I can't see sending them to preschool if they don't want to go. (just another side of it--my daughter is almost 21 now and perfectly socially adjusted... ;-)
BTW, my 3rd daughter is still bummed because she would have LOVED going to preschool and I had given up by then (she's 17 now). It just depends on the personality of the child, really, but I can't see any reason why they *have* to go to preschool.
Hang in there, Lisa. I remember going through the same thing. My son is now 30. He was use to going to a babysitter, but going to preschool brought on the tears. It broke my heart to see him cry; I cried all the way to work. I talked to the teacher later in the day found that within a minute or two of me leaving, he was off playing. My son is an only child and I think this was an important step towards socialization.
Those sad days never leave a mothers' heart. My dd did that to me...and to this day I feel that pain (she is now 22 and a senior in college). It will get easier for him, but not for you...it never did for me..even when she left for college...I miss her every day..and I know that her days of living with us are over....sigh...Dianntha
Awwww Lisa....these kinds of days are so hard on us mommys...it has been a good many years for me like that but I still remember them well. It tears at your heart.
It will smooth out for the both of you soon - he just needs to find that special thing at school that draws him. It will happen.
Hugs, Karen
Lisa, it will get better, its always hard to leave them, but it does get better Hugs to you.
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